Saturday, October 25, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I want a cow now
I can't stop watching this clip from "The Soup."
I'm glad she does get her cow, but I am terrified by the amount of spray tan she's wearing.
I'm glad she does get her cow, but I am terrified by the amount of spray tan she's wearing.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Ode to Asbestos
Ode to Asbestos
Ode to asbestos-
You come in so many natural forms:
Chrysotile, amosite, crocidolite, termolite, anthophylite, and actinolite.
I want to rub them all on my face.
You come in so many colors: Blue, white, and brown start your spectrum.
God’s rainbow after the flood must have borrowed your hues.
Oh asbestos-
You clothed the Greeks and built Rome so strong.
I want to wear one of your togas in a house of your transite slabs.
Your shingles and felt protect your flooring tiles below.
This acoustical plaster you created will amplify my calls of your praise.
Oh asbestos-
What I haven’t learned from your chalkboards!
Use your spackle to fill the holes in my life.
Mesothelioma is a small price to pay for your friable gifts.
Oh asbestos-
Your vinyl may be for walls and paneling, but let me wear it as pants!
I write this on your thermal paper and will post it with your adhesives.
Oh asbestos-
Your insulation keeps me as warm as the suit I need to remove you.
Friday, October 10, 2008
VOTING IS NOT JUST FOR GEEKS
Remember the episode of the Simpson's where Bart runs for class president after being nominated by Sherri and Terri (the purple haired twins)? From there, Bart rallies the popular support from the students in Mrs. Krabappel's class by promising more asbestos in the air, easy answers, and anarchy. He wipes Martin's campaign poster across his ass in front of a cheering crowd.
By election day, Martin looked like Lisa did after she drank the water at Duff Gardens, and Bart declared a victory party under the slide when Mrs. Krabappel announced the opening of the polls. As Bart passed out cupcakes to thank his voters, Nelson tells him voting is for geeks, Sherri and Terri say they didn't vote, Millhouse and Lewis say they forgot. Bart says, "Somebody must've voted." Then Millhouse says, "What about you Bart? You must've voted?" Beads of cartoon sweat run down Bart's face as he sprints back to the classroom to vote for himself, and the bell rings before he can get there. The polls were done. Martin and Wendell clutch each other and shout hooray for Martin's win. Bart demands a recount, and Mrs. Krabappel joyously shows him the only two votes cast in the election, and both were for Martin...and this can happen in real life too.
There's about 20 days until the election. EVERYBODY HAS TO VOTE. Obama may be leading the polls right now, but DON'T GET COCKY. HE HASN'T WON IT YET. There's still a lot of room for error, and you can help avoid that. Gauging by his classmates reactions, Bart should've kicked Martin's ass. But Bart got full of himself, and his classmates failed to simply write a name on paper.
Cautious optimism is fine, but don't pass out the victory cupcakes now. There are still debates left, and swing voters can change their minds by November. But more importantly, POLLS MEAN NOTHING. The only way to win an election is with VOTER TURNOUT. DON'T BE MILLHOUSE. DON'T EAT VASOLINE ON TOAST. VOTE. DON'T FORGET. TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS. Even if you are voting for the candidate who called his wife a "trollup faced cunt" in front of several reporters, get out there and vote. I may not agree with your opinion, but I respect our differences. Every vote is important! VOTING IS NOT JUST FOR GEEKS.
By election day, Martin looked like Lisa did after she drank the water at Duff Gardens, and Bart declared a victory party under the slide when Mrs. Krabappel announced the opening of the polls. As Bart passed out cupcakes to thank his voters, Nelson tells him voting is for geeks, Sherri and Terri say they didn't vote, Millhouse and Lewis say they forgot. Bart says, "Somebody must've voted." Then Millhouse says, "What about you Bart? You must've voted?" Beads of cartoon sweat run down Bart's face as he sprints back to the classroom to vote for himself, and the bell rings before he can get there. The polls were done. Martin and Wendell clutch each other and shout hooray for Martin's win. Bart demands a recount, and Mrs. Krabappel joyously shows him the only two votes cast in the election, and both were for Martin...and this can happen in real life too.
There's about 20 days until the election. EVERYBODY HAS TO VOTE. Obama may be leading the polls right now, but DON'T GET COCKY. HE HASN'T WON IT YET. There's still a lot of room for error, and you can help avoid that. Gauging by his classmates reactions, Bart should've kicked Martin's ass. But Bart got full of himself, and his classmates failed to simply write a name on paper.
Cautious optimism is fine, but don't pass out the victory cupcakes now. There are still debates left, and swing voters can change their minds by November. But more importantly, POLLS MEAN NOTHING. The only way to win an election is with VOTER TURNOUT. DON'T BE MILLHOUSE. DON'T EAT VASOLINE ON TOAST. VOTE. DON'T FORGET. TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS. Even if you are voting for the candidate who called his wife a "trollup faced cunt" in front of several reporters, get out there and vote. I may not agree with your opinion, but I respect our differences. Every vote is important! VOTING IS NOT JUST FOR GEEKS.
Monday, October 6, 2008
A ven diagram exposing modern threats 1, 2, and 3.
My friend K10 and I were talking about the problems plaguing this great nation of ours, and I drew this ven diagram to share the results of our discussion.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Lowering your standards in the BKLYN
This is the view out of my bedroom in my old apartment. Yes, that is my roommate's bedroom.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Kittens love looking a pictures of maps made of condoms. And kittens also hate people who don't believe in educating about proper use of condoms and all of the ways to avoid STIs, like the clap or the baby. (until you're ready for the later).
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