Friday, May 29, 2009

Putting my brain back together

Birthdays are fun to drag out; moving is not. I had to get a storage unit when I moved last month, and then I was a hobo for about a week. I got everything out of storage yesterday, so I am now surrounded with chipboard furniture and wine boxes full of my books, fabric, knick knacks, and who knows what else.

Step 1: get belongings in order. step 2: rebuild brain. step 3: build a fort with the empty boxes.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Everybody look at me, because I'm sailing on a boat

Guest column! K10 learns things

K10 learns things so you can too!

Today's subject: Temp jobs!

K10 says...

Sometimes you can get paid by a 501c3 to stab the belly's of piñatas.

Easiest piñata belly to stab successfully: The bull
Most difficult piñata belly to stab successfully: The horse

No unicorns were harmed in the stabbing of piñatas.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Miss California

The news cast on my taxi screen the other night said, "Will the runner up be ready to take Carrie Prejean's place if she is forced to give up the title of Miss California?" I hope this other girl is ready to step up to what Miss USA runner ups usually do: fade into obscurity. But with all the Miss California-gay marriage-free boob job-racy-photos hype, does anyone remember who is actually the current Miss USA?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Wholesome Wear

I've had the same swim suit for about four years, and I've been considering replacing it or buying a second. After watching tonight's 18 Kids and Counting..., I've decided I can't live without the stylish number from Wholesome Wear that Anna wore on her honeymoon with Joshua. I thought I'd never a swimsuit that was both Spandex and a throw back to Puritan fashion, but the Wholesome Wear outer garment converts from swim-ready shorts to a land-appropriate dress with quick and easy snaps! (I also never knew how to make soap from previously existing soap before the Duggars). Apparently, only the favorite daughters in giant families like the Duggars get to go swimming; each Wholesome Wear is $80.

I understand that Anna doesn't want a swimsuit that makes her look like a common whore, but she found a suit that leaves more to the imagination than the Burqini.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Roundworms ruin everything

A teenager is blind in one eye and an infant brain damaged after contracting raccoon roundworm. They're both from Brooklyn, so I'm going to have to give up stacking raccoon feces into piles and quit using feces as sprinkles on cupcakes.

Babies are prone to eating things they're not supposed to, but I haven't seen a raccoon in the two years I've lived here. Where did this baby find the scat? The teenager apparently eating feces is like the ten year old who got roofied from eating Aquadots; they were both old enough to know what's edible and what's not.